Curating Shared Family Meals with Ease
Back to school is back…and with that comes at least in our home a shift towards slightly more routine. It is no secret our lives have become even more busy than the generations before us. There are more challenges and distractions than ever (hello, smart-phones and activities x1000) which prevent us from meeting at the table for a time of quality connection. Family meals have declined by more than a third in the last 20 years despite the fact that the benefits of sharing meals together have been heavily researched and are undeniable. Children who share regular meals with their family are shown to perform better academically, struggle less emotionally, and have closer relationships with their parents. Here are some suggestions for creating a mealtime habit with ease:
Turn off your Devices - If you look at the etiquette for a proper place setting you will not find a spot for your smart-phone. If there is one time in the day to set your phone in a basket or simply power it off, it is during dinnertime. Try to find at least 15-30 minutes to set aside technology and engage wholeheartedly with your family.
Remove Mental Clutter - One way to help accomplish the above goal is to remove some of the mental clutter you bring with you to the table. Wrap up any lingering work communication, send some of your TO-DO list tasks to TULA, or do a 5 minute pre-dinner meditation to clear your mind. We can’t truly connect until our minds are clear and free.
Set Achievable Goals - Your goal should be a mere baby-step in the right direction. This could be as simple as turning off the TV during meals or sharing 2 family meals together per week. Once you accomplish your small goal you can scale up to something more. Remember the phase of life that you’re in and that your children will grow and mature. It won’t always be a dinnertime circus but it’s never too early to encourage good habits.
Prep Ahead - Sometimes after a long day of work or caring for children, or both the last thing we can think about is preparing dinner. I don’t know about you but when 4 pm rolls around it is my least energetic time of day. On top of that, the kids are usually wound up, our house feels like total chaos, and I am sometimes on the brink of sensory meltdown. If you know this is how your evenings will feel, consider making regular slow-cooker meals or prepping ahead in the morning or over the weekends. My favorite is a hybrid of the two: prepping freezer to slow-cooker meals ahead of time. All you have to do is dump your bag of ingredients in the slow cooker and voila! Also, once the kids are older, it can be fun to plan the menu for the week together, then you’re sure to have options they are already up for eating.
Cook Together - If you do have the energy to cook in the evening, set aside a time to cook with your children and embrace the mess. Having a helper not only lightens the workload but also gives your child ownership over the meal. Especially if you have a picky eater, letting them see, touch, and feel the ingredients will make them more inclined to want to learn about and try new foods. If the mess is too much for you or if it feels like your child is slowing down the process of getting dinner out, have them engage by setting the table or doing one simple task like peeling carrots.
Serve Meals Family Style - Sometimes the mealtime discontentment comes from stressing about what our kids will or will not eat. Consider lowering your expectations and adjusting the format to family style or a deconstructed meal. Children love autonomy and engaging in practical life skills. Let your children pass around the bowls of food and get a small pitcher so they can pass and serve their own beverage. This gives your child the freedom to choose what they want to eat and takes the pressure off of forcing your child to eat. If you have a super picky eater make sure that there are a few wholesome staples on the table that they will select; at our table this might mean fruit, carrots, or even a healthy(ish) PB&J sandwich.
Have a Dinnertime Conversation Ritual - In our family we go around the table and each person gets a chance to say something nice about their family OR another popular one is any version of highlights/lowlights and BUFFALO (something funny/weird or interesting that happened that day). It is a great way to boost self-esteem and family connection.
Hopefully these tips can help you enter the dinnertime scramble from a place of ease. The most important mindset with any change to your family routine: grace, grace, grace. If your carefully curated dinner plans implode one night, that’s okay. Sometimes our job as parents is to survive, surrender, and mitigate stress. Especially when our children are young, we cannot expect perfection, and having everyone at the table for 5 minutes might be a huge win. Try again the next night and remember, as long as you remain dedicated to trying, there are many fun, connected, and memorable meals ahead.
And it wouldn't be a TULA blog if we didn't remind you that we are here to help with everything on your list... including meal planning and prep so you have more time to focus on the fun part of getting time together at the dinner table! Just ask!